Emelie Sande Transcript

Emilie Sande Transcription 11.04.17

Life must be so different

It is actually. It's been mad. This time on tour I met two people

Randomly. When I was studying medicine sometimes you get to go abroad

And study over the summer. So ten years ago I went to Madrid in 2008.

So at the brixton show I bumped into a lady who I was living with and

At the Berlin show one of the girls who was studying from Germany in

Spain. It was a reminder of my previous life almost. It makes so much

more of an impact. Sometimes when it's day in day out this becomes

normal but when you meet people and Saskia from Berlin was like 'I

have a video of you and we are in the park and I ask you to sing and

you were like 'No, I'm just too shy! I don't want to sing - I don't

feel confident'. For her to then see me perform in Berlin she was like

'Oh my god, what happened to you?' It was a big reminder.

Journey 2008-2017

Amazing! I was catching up with Naughty Boy last night and we were

catching up with some younger guys and they were asking how we met and

how did the whole journey start. It was the first time we had really

reminisced together and it was crazy. From the moment we met we were

instant best friends and going on to this journey together was our

joint ambition but also belief. Every day is learning and sometimes

you forget that you have to learn as you go along. It's ok to make

mistakes, change and build yourself up and grow as an artist.

Day to day life

Definitely people recognise you, especially when the hair is out! I

have always tried to make an effort for it to always be always about

the music. I want to have fun with hair, clothes and everything and be

able to express myself but I have always wanted to make sure it's the

message that comes first. If anyone stops me on the street it's always

to talk about songs or performances. Hearing stuff like that makes me

want to keep doing it and - without sounding cheesy - telling people

that you can do whatever you want.

Handle fame

Initially it was overwhelming. I was like, 'I don't know if I'm a good

example' but I wanted to be. I knew that I wasn't always going to be

perfect and I didn't want to disappoint anyone. I think I put a lot of

pressure on myself, not to be perfect, but to to try and set a good

example. Then I started to relax after a while and I thought 'I have

to be myself'. Even though red carpets might have freaked me out

before when people would say to me 'It's so nice to see somebody that

I can think I look like her on a red carpet' then I was like that's

really cool I'm going to do all the red carpets ever! I just want to

inspire people that are out there working, to feel good about themselves and to be confident. We are all perfect in our own way.

Embraces fame for those reasons

Yeah. I just think really becoming comfortable in myself and loving

myself. it made me feel like I really want to represent what I stand

for. It's not being fabulous, it's being confident in who I am and

representing people that might see themselves in me.

Not letting fame changed you - humble beginnings parents

Absolutely. London was always this big fancy place to me and it still

is. Sometimes I'm still like I can't believe I live in London. Once

you live here you do forget that it's difficult to be here. It's not

an easy city to live in - you have to keep hustling and you have to

pay the rent. Its not an easy city to live in. Its exciting and theres so many opportunities but living in this small town in Scotland and the dream of London, so any opportunity I had to come was such a big thing for me. I never took it for granted, even getting on the tube, seeing people the same colour as me. The fashion, I was like wow, and going to Finsbury Park to get hair product was like Disneyland to me.  That magic is still there for me and I think that’s kept me quite humble. You know we didn’t have very much money growing up so everything I have now and my parents coming down and reminding me like ‘wow look we an do this, we’re getting a car here’. My mum’s always like ‘we’re not getting an uber we’re getting the bus’, so that grounding is always important.

Money situation – viewing money with all success but not changing

It’s a difficult one. Because I love doing music so much, its hard to then think ‘oh im also getting paid for it, this is kinda cool!’ and it is difficult. Also my mum will never let me get silly with money, I would feel so ashamed if I started spending. Especially because I’ve gone to my fathers village in Zambia and I took a trip to Uganda recently, so it was a double wammy: It made me realize the practicality of money, money can buy medical equipment, it can buy food and all these things. At some point I did feel the pressure like ‘you’ve got to have this fancy car, and you’ve got to do this’, but then I didn’t feel like myself. So recently I got rid of everything.’

What did you have and get rid of?

I had a BMW, a really fancy one. The doors came up, everyone loved it. But then I thought this just isn’t me. So recently I got rid of that and my dad used to have a Volvo – its like an old school turbo 480 volvo, so im going to pimp it up, Ive got this guy who can spray paint it like Champagne white, with gold rims, like a sick sound system, so I just feel like this is the real me and I feel so much more secure being myself. Its an acquired taste, its like Herby!

Second Album – Big gap between albums – reason?

I think there was definitely some adjusting I needed to do. I felt like there was a lot I had to learn about myself. You know you get into the music industry and you’re so busy that you need to take time. From 24-30, you’re just working so much you forget about the development you need to make as a woman. For me it was about taking that time out and just looking at myself. What else do I like to do other than music? What about films? How can I push myself artistically? And lyrically, I wanted this album to be ‘if I never make another album’ Im so proud, and ive said everything I need to say at this stage. So I guess that’s why it took a while. Also, I was touring the first one for 2/3 years. I took 2 years to write this new one but I definitely feel like I needed that.

What did you learn about yourself

I learnt that I needed to build my confidence up. I came in the industry with all the confidence because I didn’t really know any different and then you meet London and you meet the industry and you meet this and you meet that and you’re like oh am I doing it right? So then you have to start again. So I think how do I get back to me coming from Glasgow? But now I feel great and now ive seen the real world il always be confident. Il always have that self-love going forward in my life. Wherever I am.

Learning about self love

Definitely old friends and family. Also – going back to the Aberdeen show – it just reminded me to slow down. It’s all a bit of a hype, and then at the end of the day its you and you’re alone and you have to look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself am I proud of this? You know just slowing yourself down and realizing there really is no rush. People want to hear the truth and however long it takes to get you there. I really wanted to dig deep. I listen to a lot of music I was inspired by growing up. I just went back and listened to Lauren Hill, because I feel like the music has change so much. Its become very fast with the internet, and its very exciting, but I didn’t want to lose that truth and soul. So I listen to Lauren Hill, Nina Simone, Bob Dylan, Jonie Mitchell… Just those lyrics that are timeless. That is what I wanted to do as a kid and I have to go back and get there again.

Confidence  - why confidence low?

Working a lot. It does tire you out after a while. You forget that you’re only there because of things you wanted to say. First of all you start off with a manager, then you get a record company, then you get a publishing company so slowly you build this team. Even though you’re not seeing them every day yu have a lot of people behind you and a lot of opinions. You forget the only opinion that got you here was your own and your families, you start ‘oh I dnt like this, I thnk you should re-writ this, I think we should try this’. Everyone has the best interntions, I have no one on my team that doesn’t want the best for me. But without being mean or being a diva you have to shut everything out, and be like ‘what’s the whole point of this’, before we amplify it to the world. Whats the seed.

Time out between albums – what did you do

I read. I love water-sports. I love jet-skiing. We went to Miami. I was writing but afterwards we went jet-skiing once, I just went so fast, and almost tipped over. But I love the adrenaline and the speed. I think that’s also like the music industry – the adrenaline of it is amazing. Its just doing it when you’re ready and feel strong. Don’t go jet-skiing when you don’t feel well!

Pressure from Label and coming back

I felt good. I knew that my focus this time was more on the craft. I wanted to really prove myself as a writer more than anything. I kind of knew ‘listen guys, im coming to make something im proud of artisitically, and it was just kind of getting people on side to do that with me. Im so proud and happy. People let me have the time. No one was banging on the door saying where is it. I mean people got a little impatient but n one was really putting pressure on. They trusted my ear and my intention. So yeah, not really. It was the pressure of coming back out and being like ‘this is who I am now’. But luckily they let me do my thing im lucky with my record company. They see it as a long career. Its not so much ‘every album has to do this’, they want to see me grow as an artist. I think theyre confident that as long as im feeling good the albums will come.

Taking longer?

I was being such a perfectionist with this album. A bit over the top, but im happy I did. For example ‘sweet architect’, that took 2 years to write. When I went to go and sing at the Whitehouse (Laughs), I was in New York and I was like ‘listen if im going to sing at the whitehouse I need at least 3 days to really practice’, I need to represent properly. So they got me a piano room. I went there sat at the piano 12 hours a day. Because it was an Aretha Franklin song, written by Carol King (Whos going to be there), in front of Michelle and Barack Obama, in the Whitehouse with the Aretha Franklin band, so I was like the pressure was insane. I was sat there 12 hours a day where it got to the point where as I tried to sleep all I could see were black and white keys. But I was sitting and I was so inspired by the chord sheet she used, so when I got back to the hotel room that night, something had opened in my mind, so then the chorus came for sweet architect, then 6 months later the verse came, then 6 months after that in London, so I had to wait for the right time to make everything. So I think that’s why it took so bloody long!

2012 Critics

When people started saying it I was like ‘oh I get it’, I didn’t think I was doing anymore than anyone else. IT was just the big things, everything was so boom, but I was also very proud of what I was representing. For me I didn’t see many women who look like me on TV as a kid, so for me, I was like yeah I get it, but it was kind of on balance for me with the people who came up to met and said keep doing what youre doing keep waving the flag, but it did make me feel like if people don’t want to see me then let me take a little bit of a break, and if they want to see me again I’ll come back. I never want to force anything on anyone, I want to be around if people want me to be, il make music regardless, but its whether people want to hear it or not. It was difficult, but it did make me feel like ok let me just chill out. Il be a normal person go do my thing for a while. But no I just feel so proud of what I a m representing, I feel so connected with my friends now and the people that are watching for different reasons that I would never feel bad about that again.

It hurt. I didn’t know what to do. I was like ‘should I just stop? Should I continue? Should I just go away?’ its very hard to make the balance right, and then I was like you know what, as long as I’m proud of it, sometimes when you’re giving a message you have to shout it as loud as possible and that’s the stance I took. I feel like if I was just singing about myself or trying to promote me, then I would be like ok cool il go away for a minute, but I feel so compelled to tell people to shine their light, and use your voice and speak as loud as you can, we don’t get this air time very often so I’m going to try my best to make people proud.

Did you need to retreat from the spotlight

I definitely did. When its going so fast you can sometimes go in the wrong direction, but because youre going so fast you go so far in the wrong direction. Sometimes you have to reel it in and grind yourself again, and remind yourself who you are.

Wanting to dissaper

Im naturally quite an introverted person. I just like quiet sometimes, I listen to jazz and light a candle and sit at the piano. I’m a bit of an old granny to be honest! I enjoy that type of stuff. So it does taking armouring yourself up to be like ok lets go this time. And now I have people behind me and I know what im doing it for and who im doing it for, I feel so much more strengthened by it. Its not for everyone, ts for people who need to hear this message. Especially on this tour It made me realize, because I was doing meet and greets before the performance, the stories I heard, some broke my heart, some inspired me to keep going. Theres a lot of people that said ive been dealing with anxiety, and this is the first time ive been able to come out because of this show, or I lost this person nd knowing there’s this show, it just felt like so much more than pop music, its so much bigger than me and how I feel, its so incredible, my fans have made me feel so strong.

One night in Paris, I sat down and I was about to play Clown, and I hadn’t even planned what to say, but I just started talking about ‘this is when I wrote clown’ I was a writer and it was very hard to believe in myself as an artist, because I didn’t think of myself as this quentisential artist and everyone was like give this song away! Are you crazy, It will be a really big cut! And having those people who believed in me, and I was like ‘ok il be the clown now, but one day il prove to you that you shouldnt judge people like that’

I did my first arena in Beligum – and me getting to sing this song and have it as my song is incredible.

Ever consider leaving industry

I mean I knew id never break away from music, but I did feel like if people don’t like this or don’t want to see me singing things, then can do other things. I can contribute to the art world in a different way. There’s so many ways you can express yourself but then I just couldn’t I had to sing that connection with people means so much to me. I mean I considered it now and again but I was never serious. 

Winning the brits

As soon as I felt ready to come back, I felt fully ready. Having the experience of coming out before, you cant be shy, you have to come full blaze and do your thing and be you and be unapologetic for it. When I came back I just felt im ready im coming with hurts, and we did the live lounge that day and it just felt so good. The brits was amazing. It was so wonderful I had absolutely no idea. But the main thing for me was the performance, I wanted to make sure whether I won or not, I gave that message. I didn’t want ‘hurts’ to be a song of like ‘oh poor me it hurts’, I really wanted to speak for people, everything from the dancers to the visuals, we all got together and I said we’re talking about mother earth, we’re talking about women or men, we’re talking about people in positions where they’ve been so shy to say it or not feel worth to say you’ve been hurting me. So I really wanted to speak for people. I want people to feel empowered and that’s what I wanted that performance to be and I hope in some way it did. And the win on top of that, I was like ‘its so cool’.

Sister

That was amazing. I said if I win will you come up, and she said ‘as long as I don’t have to speak!’

Parents

They were there. Such a lovely night, really cool.

Album – Garden – sexy song

That came from relaxing, which was definitely part of the time away. And growing up as a woman. I think coming from Scotland, I was a med student I wanted to make my mum and dad proud, be this perfect student, I hadn’t really explored the other side of myself, sensuality and sexuality, being free with it and being a grown up about it, its not a taboo subject, its just fun. We’re all secretly doing it somewhere! I wasn’t thinking about anything to do with music, I was just chilling it was summer it was fun, I got to hang out with Jay Electronica. For me it was about letting go. I wasn’t even thinking oh its for the album, or its for this, I thought why don’t we just put it out and see what people think. It was about exploring myself as a woman.

What learnt 

Ive learnt that its just an extension of me. When I get really serious about studying or music, then kind of like I want that side of me, its still me theres still the same depth. Sex doesn’t need to be this throw away silly thing, or used to make money, sex is this beautiful deep connection with somebody, and that’s what I wanted to portray in Garden is sex is this secret world you have with someone. I think that’s the main thing I learnt. What we’re being fed is sex is this, and it’s rushed but its not that. It’s so beautiful and its something we should talk about. Getting that balance between yeah its exciting and fun but its also serious sharing your body with someone, you cant take that lightly, that’s your soul. For me, everything from the baseline and that depth and the mystery of it I wanted to capture that in Garden.

Talking about relationships in Album

The reason I don’t want it to be a breakup album is because it was more about my growth and sometimes relationships aren’t right. There was so much love there, it wasn’t like you go that way and il go that way, but we’re growing in different directions this is so painful for us both. That’s why I never wanted to speak about it. Because I have a platform to speak about it, but I don’t want anyone that hasn’t consented that to expose them, I just think it’s a bit disrespectful on my part. There is definitely love there, I wanted this album to be about how ive grown and I have confidence in myself, I know what I need back, until you know yourself you don’t know what you need in a partnership. Its kind of like now I know who I am, I have this confidence,I know what I need spirtitually, so that’s what was what I feel like was the point of this album. Long live Angels for me was ‘you are going to be on the floor sometimes’, but I want people to know that even if you feel like everything’s shit, right now and sweet architect are those low points. But you come through. Some times there’s no big reason, but I thought I just feel lonely. And I don’t think people should feel lonely.

Until you’re fully certain of who you are its unfair to bring someone else into that confusion. Once you’re fully certain and you’re stable, right now I feel so ready. I feel like I want to start a relationship with someone, I don’t know who they are, but I feel so comfortable in myself, I can be myself round someone, theres no insecurities anymore. I feel like sometimes insecurities are what make things difficult, so if I feel confident and they feel confident and we can just have fun and love eachother purely, that’s kind of what Im looking for now.

Interlinked with career?

I feel like its quite personal, separate from the business. I look at my mum and dad and their love is so spectacular. The more empathy I have for my parents, now I look at them as adults and I look at their relationship and I think wow you guys went through racism in Sunderland in the 80s, they had the national front coming up saying why are you with a black man? My mum was pushing me in a pram and they went through the most horrible racism, but their love for one another was so strong. I look and my sister and I and the experience of growing up we’ve always had an example of pure love. I just think wow theyre still married theyre up in Scotland going on little bike rides together and I just think I want that! I want a companion for life. It made me grow up, Turning 30, I do want a family, I want love and life,  I hope i always make music but for me I just want stability. I just think seeing that and my sister in an incredible relationship, I think wow, that’s what growing up is, I don’t think ive ever been fully selfish, but just that union with someone is something that I think is so amazing and I really want it.

Theres certain people you should be friends with, it’s a very different thing.

I just hope everyones happy now and everythings great.

Changed outlook – what you went through

It’s about being grown up and also taking all your decisions very seriously. It was painful for me as well but I don’t want to cause pain to anybody else. It’s a mature decision. Falling in love is amazing, but beyond that there are other things, there are practicalities. How do we make this last for 30 years? That’s the dream.

Also being around children, I think that is so inspiring, they are just so pure and innocent. I want to be in a place where I’m so happy and confident.

I still definitely want to get married and I still believe in it.

What advice to readers

Don’t think you’re alone. Even though people don’t speak about it a lot people are going through this,  don’t allow yourself to be overwhelmed with negativity or guilt. Its part of life. The biggest thing is spend time to find self love. That’s the biggest thing for me. A couple of years ago, maybe two – three years, a friend of mine  said ‘when you find self love itll be amazing itll change your life.’ But it just takes maturity. And when I did I totally got what she meant. And I think just focus on that – its not a selfish thing to want to love yourself before stepping into something else.

Type of guy looking for – famous?

Maybe if they’re famous but as long as they don’t care too much about fame. I love getting deep with people, I love getting spiritual, if fame comes because of what you’re doing then that’s a beautiful thing to share your message but anyone caught up in it isn’t for me.

Work life balance

I think for me, I never thought I was being selfish, but I care about music so much I m so passionate about it, but I have to remember other people have other passions so its meeting in the middle and work doesn’t consume me. You need to dedicate yourself to somebody and your time as well.

New management – Adrian and Jay Z

He’s very cool, I was really surprised, his aura was very calm and very spiritual, when I play music I can tell he’s really listening, the way I might listen to music I can tell he’s on the same wave length. I was writing for Rhianna in Paris and we were just playing music and then I met them in LA, and it just felt like the right direction, it felt like the artistic things I wanted to do. It just felt right its hard to explain – it was very difficult – because id been with my previous management for so long and I still care about them so much but its making those decision. Where I want to go and what obstacles I’m facing. How do I get my message out? That was the biggest thing for me, I didn’t want it to be anything personal how do I get my message to reach people and who can help me do that. Jay Z and Ti Ti they were amazing, I feel so inspired being around them, Its kind of like anything I can think of in my head theyre like ‘cool!’ lets try that! I just feel like it was a real maturity of me to take responsibility. When you know what you want and you try and put things in place you have to accept that if it’s a complete failure it was your idea! Its very easy sometimes to hide behind that, and say ‘I was forced’, now I feel like if I mess up, I did mess up, and everybody knows about it, but that gives me excitement and adrenaline, it makes me focus on what do I actually want. I can’t be complacent because it’s on me, I said it. I love that, and it allows me to live in the present moment instead of waiting for something. They’re really phenomenal, I think people have an impression of what Rock Nation is, but when you go in there offices and you see this beautiful African Art work everywhere and you hear their story we never take this for granted because we were just kids in Brooklyn, sleeping in beds with cousins in Brooklyn, brothers together. Just hearing there journey is so inspiring, they knocked so many doors down and I feel like that’s what I need to do now.

When I’m around him, because I admire him so much I don’t know what to say, its like being round the head teacher. I’m like ‘ok I’ll keep singing! He’s very lovely; he’s a very nice guy.

Beyonce

I haven’t met her. We’ve kind of crossed paths. I did a show in New York where she was performing. One day, I admire her a lot, once you’ve experienced the business and seeing how she stayed very strong and so dignified, that is so difficult. I don’t think she gets the credit for the work she puts in and her dignity, I think its really beautiful and really inspiring.

Lost weight

At the beginning I wanted to get healthy, and feel healthy and feel fit for tour but once I got to a place where I felt healthy, then everything started happening personally, so I definitely got the place where… maybe it was stress or maybe it was the adrenaline of ‘keep going and don’t deal with anything just keep doing it’. I didn’t feel healthy at that point.

I was always quite happy however I was but it was more just to feel healthy. I just wanted to feel like I could do 50 pressups. I just wanted to learn self-defense and feel agile. I think I need to get back to being a bit more physical. When it was all healthy and good I felt amazing to be honest. I just loved being able to go for runs. I want to get running again.

I’m very happy I can accept myself however I am. But for me it’s about being healthy. My sister is so healthy she does yoga. If anything its so good for breathing and focusing. If anything id like to get into sports just for that.

Pressures of Pop stars

I’ve been really lucky – especially because I came in as a writer. I feel so blessed. People have taken my mind first before anything else. People say ok cool If you look good in that coat its like a nice added - To do photo shoots its really fun but I’ve always had respect for my mind… Whatever girls want to wear I think its your body do what you want – just make sure that self love is there, and make sure you mind comes first. Then everything else is just flesh and physical. Make sure you’re being respected for your ideas before anything else.

What’s been star moment – and moment of ‘I’ve made it’

Doing my first arena show, on this tour was like. When we did read all about it at the end everyone had the lights out and actually when I play clown in an arena everyone was silent, and I was like ‘how am I doing this?’ maybe I’m doing ok! That was really emotional for me. Anytime I did strictly come dancing and wore a tone of diamonds and the security were like waiting to them off me, but just wearing it, the value was crazy, It was out of this world, having that many diamonds on my hand I was like this is fabulous! Don’t get too used to this!

Glastonbury

Very very excited. I have always wanted to do Glastonbury so when I was told I was ecstatic – especially doing the tour now we can adapt the show to what will work in the sun, and I think its going to be so emotional. I love festivals its like there’s no rules; you’re not doing anything too organized or corporate. Its your time to let your message shine, we’re going to study loads of great performances we love from back in the day, I feel like I’m just turning into a hippy basically! Summer everyone’s going to see the real hippy Emilie!

The Arena tour in October which I’m so excited about – its so lovely to do it all in the UK where it all started. Starting in Aberdeen – that’s where I first went to see my favorite artist Eternal in Aberdeen. I was 8, I remember I wore a … jumper; my sister fell asleep because she was so little. I was so excited I kept the poster. Being able to do an arena in my hometown, and the 02, that’s going to be mad.

Sister: Lucy, 28, Dianne and Joel, married 30 years

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